What is the “right way” to give birth…

Spoiler alert: no such thing exists….

Hey lovely,

Let’s talk about something I hear all the time from pregnant people I work with…
There always seems to be a quiet pressure to get birth right.

You know the kind: having the perfect birth plan, breathing like a Zen goddess, never screaming or swearing (because apparently, that’s “not hypnobirthing” 🙄), and somehow doing it all while looking like you’ve stepped out of a pregnancy glow ad.

Here’s the truth: birth is not a performance.

It’s not something you can pass or fail. There’s no gold star or final grade.
And yet, so many of us feel this pressure to do it “right.”

Maybe you’ve felt it too? That low hum of expectations from social media, well-meaning friends, antenatal books, strangers in Tesco…

Whether it’s having a “natural” birth, avoiding interventions, using no pain relief, or staying serene and goddess-like through every contraction (another spoiler alert: that’s not how it works for most of us), it can start to feel like there’s a right way to do this birth thing.

Why We Think There’s a “Right” Way

So many of us carry this internalised idea that birth has to look or feel a certain way.
It’s no surprise, really! Birth stories in films are dramatic and suspenseful, with added cliffhangers and popcorn-worthy moments. (One Born Every Minute, I’m looking at you 👀).

TikToks and Instagram posts often show the calm, candlelit water births with affirmations playing softly in the background… or the other extreme — bright hospital lights, beeping monitors, and chaos.

And while all of those are real and valid birth experiences, they’re not the whole story.

Birth is raw, powerful, unpredictable, and deeply individual.
It can be loud or quiet. Messy or serene. It can change direction. It can surprise you.
And it’s still yours.

The Science of “Doing Less”

Here’s something really interesting: research actually supports the idea that birth unfolds best when we stop trying to control it.

Dr. Sarah Buckley’s work on undisturbed birth shows that when we feel safe, private and supported, our natural hormones (like oxytocin and endorphins) kick in to help labour progress smoothly (Buckley, 2015).

This is echoed by the Birthplace Study (NPEU, 2011), which found that for low-risk pregnancies, births in midwife-led settings or at home result in fewer interventions, while remaining just as safe for birthing people and babies.

A large study in BMC Pregnancy & Childbirth also found that a positive birth experience is more about feeling respected and informed than it is about the method or place of birth (BMC study ).

This Isn’t a Test

At the heart of it, birth isn’t a test of strength or worthiness.
Whether it’s long or short, calm or chaotic, full of twists or totally straightforward — it’s all valid.

If you ask for an epidural, you haven’t failed.
If you end up with a caesarean, you haven’t failed.
If you roar like a lion, cry through the surges, or laugh between contractions — that’s birth too.

Birth is deeply human. And being human is messy, beautiful, and never one-size-fits-all.

Local Pregnancy Support That Gets It

That’s why I’m so excited about the Good Times x Nest Pregnancy Package — a nourishing, collaborative offering combining evidence-based antenatal education and hypnobirthing classes in Glasgow.

Together with the wonderful team at Nest Glasgow — a welcoming, holistic family hub in Bridgeton — we’re creating space for learning, connection, and real talk about birth.

Whether you’re preparing for your first baby or adding to your family, you’ll find flexible antenatal workshops, birth prep sessions, and real community here.

💛 Check out the full Pregnancy Package here

You Don’t Need to “Get It Right”

There’s no gold medal for staying quiet. No “best birth” award.
And thank goodness for that — because birth isn’t about performing. It’s about showing up.

You can birth in softness or strength, with lights dimmed or music blasting.
You can change your mind. Ask for help. Surprise yourself completely.

Whatever it looks like — you didn’t get it wrong.
You’re birthing. You’re human. You’re incredible. 💫